There have been many many moments lately where I sit and think, "What the hell have I done?"
"Boot Camp?"
"The Air Force?"
"Really?"
I'm not one for change. I'm the guy who's lived in the same house since I was born, the guy who orders the same Sandwich at Subway every week, the guy who attempts to make a schedule and stick to it as best as possible. If I can manage to keep something a constant in my life, I'll try my hardest to keep it that way. So what in the world possessed me to leave behind the bed I've had since I was six and start a whole new life? Why am I taking such a huge step? Am I ready for this?
I mean....we are, after all, talking about the guy who busted his back up just 12 months ago. Is he strong enough to be a soldier? Can he handle the physical demand? Can he overcome an obstacle like that?
This is the most scared I've ever felt in my life. Literally, the only thing I have to rely on is the blind faith that I've got a Savior who's going to be with me every step through it. But no matter the number of prayers, the "You're gonna do great"'s, the work-outs, I still have this fear, this doubt that eats away at my mind.
So here it goes.
God,
Make me strong.
Build me up.
Help me be the man I want to be, and deep down know that I can be.
Keep me safe.
Keep your eye on me.
Don't let me falter.
Don't let me slip.
Help me see the light you've put in me.
Surround the uncertainty, don't let it overpower me.
I need that faith. In not just myself, but in your master plan.
Let all this come to be a showcase of you, and how anything can happen.
Make me your instrument.
Amen.
